16 months

I know I've already mentioned this... but I have to again, isn't this the best age ever??!  Okay, there are ups and downs, but my little guy is so incredibly cute!  And doing new things all the time

In the last month or so I've realized just how many words he understands.  He knows to look for his shoes.  He knows what I mean when i say - look behind you.  Where is sissy?  Stay back, the oven is hot! Daddy's home!

Where is mommys nose?  We're starting to know some basic body parts.  Especially nose and ears

He loves dogs.  Real dogs and hot dogs.  He says dog more than anything else.

I know i'm probably the only one that could understand, but he was trying to tell me what he wanted for breakfast while pointing in the fridge and the boy said "pancake."  I totally understood.  And that was exactly what he wanted. 

Speaking of dogs  his buddy Scout and the crib conversion to toddler bed are saving us at bedtime.  A lot less screaming going on...yay!

Signs please (with some prompting) and bath.  Loves the evening bath!

Partners

It's okay to have more then one dream running at once right? Because you are hearing about two different ones today...

One of my favorite things about participating in this is having random people come to my blog, read about this and leave a comment.  Seriously!  It's encouraging to me.  My blog has always been personal, for my family and friends, but over the last few years I've become such a sporadic poster I'm not sure even they read it anymore!  Still, I don't think that's the kind of "share with someone else" we were challenged to do this week.

So let me just tell you, i didn't really share with someone else this week.  I've been sharing along the way.  My husband knows that the goal was family prayer - it's been a goal of ours for a while really - and we've got bedtime prayer down pretty well.  It's still often a last minute gathering before one of us runs off to sit by the little guys crib while he goes to sleep.  But we do it!    My daughter often says "Wait we haven't had scripture!" if we are rushing to much before bed.  It would be nice if prayer could join the ranks.  How do we become enthusiastic about this?  Make prayer something meaningful and powerful that we can all see the difference in our lives, so that we don't want to miss it?

I ran into two other snags this week.  The first was our weekend trip to my in-laws.  We didn't have family prayer for those days.  The one night I tried I had really bad timing with a screaming 15 month old and just...chaos...so I sort of gave up on the gathering.  How do you maintain those family rituals when traveling?  The second is thinking ahead.  My husband is about to start a schedule in which he will be working into bedtime.  So, we have to make a change to have family prayer.  Who is good at morning prayer?  We've never been.  I think it's because we like our sleep. So morning can be a rush!

If you read my first God sized dream post you might now that my real "dream" for 2013 is just something better than 2012.  We ended up in a rather low place.  I especially have a dream for less financial stress and I know God has to help us on that journey.  Because I don't know what to do about it.  Although my husband is working again (yay!) we have a gap to make up.  Anyway, one of my ideas was to shelve the fear and make and sell some crochet.  I have a lot of fears and excuses (I'm not that good.  Lots of people crochet. Etc etc). And I don't expect it to make much, not that that is a big deal.   My friend Brenda, who knew how to crochet but hadn't for years, liked some things I was making and picked up a hook.  Sometimes we get together and work on a project.  It's fun.  And let me tell you, she is a machine.  She loves cranking out projects.  She got an extra benefit.  She hadn't weighed herself in a while, got on the scale and has lost 8 pounds!  She thinks it's because when she is sitting she is crocheting, not snacking.  I think that is fabulous.  And maybe there are some benefits to the things we do, that are of more worth then financial gain.

 

Little feel good about me moment

The last couple if days have been hard. Inexplicably frustrating. Not beyond normal but for some reason hard to tolerate. (except for when I found the cat peeing on the table on which I fold clothes.  Then the pee smell I can't get rid of made sense.  I was mad)

I've got a short temper.I want to be left alone. Ha! sometimes it's hard to be an introverted parent! my little children have been patient with me...mostly.

So today I took off to my friends house, and while the kids played I took on a new project.

Then I finished it. something I wanted to make, just because it was pretty. Something that I finished in (essentially) one sitting.

Then I put the finishing touches on that kitty beauty.

Today it felt good.

Still not as beautiful as the two children I made. :)

Increasing in Understanding :)

I love 14 months!  I really do.  One of the best things is seeing your little one start to understand, and then start to respond!

Lately you can:

Have a conversation with the little monster.  You can ask him a question and he'll tell you all about it.  And gesture.  And you may even catch a word you understand, like "go"

Understand his signs!  Very recently he says "please" and "bath"   It is exciting to be able to understand...a little!

Ask him, "where is your shoe?" and he will go look for it!

He has still been sick often, and is very attached to mommy.  One bonus to daddy being home so much is that he will now go to daddy almost as often.  Love seeing those boys bond!

Baby Steps

This last week was a SUPER busy week.  My husband worked a very crazy shift at his new job.  So when he wasn't there...he was asleep :) Poor guy.  I was in the middle/end of planning an open house for Weight Watchers.  Then, just our day to day was looming.

 I've been working through my thoughts about my word for the year: Dedication, while I work through Holleys book.  Day 9 I read:  "If we are taking on things that God never intended us to do, we're using time, energy, and emotion that's needed somewhere else."

What was in my life that was draining me of time, energy and emotion?

It wasn't hard to find.  It was that open house I was planning.  About two weeks into the planning, I did not feel dedicated anymore.  That was about when all the complaining started.  I'm sure I spent as much time complaining as I did planning.  Anyone that would listen, I told them the things that were crazy and frustrating.  Here's the kicker - I won't get paid for all the time I spent complaining. The only paycheck I got was to stir myself up a bit more.

The event itself - while it didn't go off without a hitch - was a very good event. We had a good turnout and  I felt inspired and motivated about lifestyle change, although a bit physically drained.  Maybe I wasn't "intended" to be there. Maybe the problem was all my attitude.  I took the work to get the extra hours that my family really needed.  And that is fine!  Next time, when I do something out of necessity, I hope I can keep my attitude positive. Take it one chunk at a time.  Stay dedicated.

My "God-sized" dreams?  I'm keeping a new zero balance budget sheet.  Brenda and I are crocheting together and I'm thinking etsy shop names.  My mustard seed goal was actually just to have family prayer once a day.  My husband had that crazy schedule and some nights it was just me and the kids.  But we're doing it!  I think these prayers, and my own are the most important thing.  This is how I will know if I am going the right direction.  This is how I will know when to make a change - or not!  But only if I'm listening.

I'm keeping it together for 2013 and seeing where the days take us.  Baby steps.

My God sized dream

"She knew that many were the plans in her heart but that Gods purpose would prevail" Proverbs 19:21

I was reading on one of my favorite sites a post about God-sized dreams. 

With resolutions and words of the year looming, I decided to think about my current God sized dream.

Many of you know the last year was something of a roller coaster ride for my family.

"Yes!  We're going home!"
"Come on house please sell, so we can get on our own"
"The house is sold, not even a short sale! lets move into another house, after all we're going to stay with this job forever!"
"I can't believe they really fired you."
"So umm...."

I feel like that sums up 2012, although there was so much more in between. Wonderful friends and family, a little boy that smiled and crawled and laughed his way through his first year.  A little girl that loved her preschool, played outdoors and gave lots of hugs. Leaving behind the best friends.  Moving close to our family.  Still, that job loss haunts every corner of my mind.  Every decision we felt we had already made, me staying home with out children, living in our small town, come into question.  I have to get past those.  What is my dream that I can only achieve by taking small steps? What is my dream that can only happen by giving God what I've got and trusting him to make something more?

*I wish I could give proper credit to this picture,
I saved it several weeks ago from a friends FB
page.  I never knew I'd be using it here!

My friend Brenda and I kick around the idea of starting a jumpy house/party place (her idea really I just jump on it) To me that is terrifying and unknown and worthy to be called a God sized dream.

I've thought about trying to sell some crochet and knitting stuff (cause I can only make my children so many hats).  To me, just getting the confidence is something of a God sized dream.  For some reason trying to sell my hand made stuff from a self taught craft feels like giving away a piece of myself.  And I don't want that piece of myself to face critisism.

What I  want even MORE then those?  What feels huge and impossible? I would like to get rid our  student loan debt.  To live without credit card debt (we're there right now, it's just a matter of staying there).  To be free of extra debt so that I could stay home, even when my husband loses his job and all of a sudden we are facing the prospect of living on half of the income we had just a year ago.  If we're lucky. To support my small children while they are still small, make a welcoming home for my husband, sell my crochet stuff for fun alone, rather then as a possible means to pick up a tiny bit of the slack.  Yes, that is my God sized dream.

I think it's going to take a few years.  I don't even know what it's going to take.  Besides a budget, and hopefully a more permanent job.  Discipline.  Me working for a while?  Possibly.

I don't know how it's going to work, what else we are going to face, or how we are going to work through it.  Every senario feels a little scary to me, a little impossible.  So I need God.  I need Him to direct me and guide me.  I need Him to help me let go of my judgement of myself. I need His help letting go of caring about what others think about my decisions.   I need support in being the best possible wife, parent, friend that I can be, whatever the circumstances are.

2013 is my God sized dream.

My superman

Some of you may know that while I don't read romance novels if you throw a little romance into a good story it's like am extra little hook for me. I'll want to know who "ends up together." guilty pleasure I guess.

So, I'm like a hidden romantic right? But I also sort of dislike Facebook statuses about how awesome peoples husbands are, or how "he's a keeper."  I've been reflecting on this and I think it's because I think  marriage is work. living with another person is hard. I love my husband. He is kind, he is a good father, he is thoughtful of me, and incredibly supportive if whatever goals I set in motion for our family.  I probably don't tell him nearly enough. But it's not like we dance around in perfect harmony here. You all know I like to be real.

Still,I have a break form and brag on him a little bit. His mom has had bone cancer for four years. we've been gone in Georgia for most of it. This is one of the reasons we jumped on "moving home." Right now "moving home" is a sore spot for me because everything is such a mess.  However, at the end of December his parents insurance stopped paying for his mothers care in a facility and she came home. We are very available right now and hubby wanted to help so down we went.

For eleven days, while his Dad went to work, my husband stayed home to take care of her. I'm talking butt wiping, catheter emptying, food making, throw up bucket emptying, help with whatever kind of care.

While I'm sitting there thinking, see world? I didn't become a nurse for a reason. He was just doing it. Being there when needed.

That is one of his good qualities. He will help with whatever you need. like most guys, he's no mind reader, but if you speak your needs and ask for help he'll do it.  

He's my superman.

*In the extreme likelihood that one of my parents is reading this (I am an only child) don't worry, if you get sick when you get old I will take care of you. I just can't promise to like it very much. mmmmkay?

Word for 2013

Last year I asked on Facebook what word my friends would pick if they had one to focus on for the whole year. There were so many great ideas! Balance, simplify, valient, faith, patience, health, and others. Then there were words I had in my own mind such as behold and peace.

I couldn't choose just one. Maybe this was the product of not having any clearly defined goals? So I put my 12favorite words in a hat and drew out one for each month. I put them in my planner and I tried to think and study that word each month.

It didn't go as planned. It was interesting to me how each word manifested in my life. Still, I didn't study much and by the end of the year I wasn't paying attention anymore.

Enter 2013.

We had a roller coaster of a year and I am looking to improve. This year we face some different challenges. I want to make some goals this time...but have one focus. So I asked again. Less responses, but still thought provoking to me. All of my friends had good words. But one stood out to me.

Dedication

I love it. I can do this in 2013. In any goal I make I can show dedication. If I am not willing to dedicate myself to it, then it doesn't need to be on my plate this year.

I want to show dedication to my spouse. I want to show dedication to my children. Regardless of changes I may have to make, like going to work (or not). I can show dedication to my family.

I want to enjoy myself, I want to grow. I can simplify the goals I have by examining the level of desire and dedication. I can put first things first.