Stars and Dots

A couple days ago I was perusing Facebook during one of my couple of times a day checks (wonder what I was avoiding?).

I ran across a link to an article along the lines of "These 25 parents are doing something right."  This wasn't the first time I ran across something like this, everyone has an opinion about parenting after all.  Sometimes I even enjoy these, they have often made me chuckle.  But for some reason today was different.  I was about two or three pictures down (yes, this one there was photographic evidence of these peoples so called awesomeness) and I decided to close my browser window.  Because a few pictures down I thought to myself, "Maybe I don't think these ideas are necessarily doing it right."  I decided I don't need to feel like I'm doing it "wrong" for not doing these things. 

Maybe I'm the only one who is so thin skinned that I let stuff like that make me feel inferior at times, but i doubt it.

It reminded me of my favorite book by Max Lucado, a children's book called, You Are Special.  In the story these little wooden people called Wemmicks live out their lives running around giving each other either gold stars or dots, for doing things well or failing, respectively.  They spend their entire lives passing judgement on each other, based on their ideas of awesome-ness.

And in that moment I felt like Facebook and these articles were just a series of Wemmicks giving others gold stars or dots. 

The stickers only stick if you let them.

One Wemmick in the story, covered in dots, meets a Wemmick who the stickers do not stick on.  He wants to know why and she sends him to the woodcarver, Eli.  One of the things Eli tells this Wemmick is that the stickers only stick if you let them.  

We are taking these judgements in.  We are letting the opinion of the world determine our self worth.  How many older ladies at church have I heard say, "I never let my children play around in the foyer during a service."  I've read entire articles about how some parent in some other place deals with "disruptive" behavior in church.  And the day I sat in a classroom and let my children run and play for the entire service, pregnant and exhausted,  I let that dot stick on me for not doing it "right."

How much different would it have been if we said to the flustered mom, when her children are throwing a tantrum or running amok,  "Parenting sure is tough sometimes, isn't it?" 

I want to learn not to let the stickers stick.

I don't want to give out stickers either.

For the last couple of days, I've been trying to figure out what is the difference between giving a gold star and spreading the love of Eli.  After all, isn't it wonderful to receive affirmation from someone you admire?  Hasn't the comment of my father,  "You are doing a good job with your kids" before he left for home been a breath of fresh air that has carried me through many more days?  Is it just a gold star I am letting stick?  I'd like to think not.

I think gold stars and dots are the comments that lift you above or below someone else.  Pass judgement where it's not your place.  Spreading the love of the woodcarver is letting someone know they are special, just because, and doing it even when you don't agree with how they do something. 

I want to spread the love of the woodcarver. 

Hello, 2014

Life gets pretty busy doesn't it?  I meant to write my "looking foward" post within a few days of my 2013 recap, but here I am, January 11th just getting started.

After I wrapped up 2013 I had a ton of things that ideally I would have liked to put on the resolution calendar.

• I'd like to eat healthier, and lose some baby weight
• Get back into exercise (is this the year I finally suck it up and start learning about group fitness instruction?)
• Declutter and Organization.  I enjoy the process of doing this quite a bit.  What I don't like is not being able to sit down for big chunks of time to work on it. Or how fast all of my work is undone/the lack of respect my family seems to have for what I am trying to do :P
• Bible study!  I've learned some great things about keeping a scripture journal in the last two years, I'd love to have a regular habit.

All the standard ones right?  But I was also keenly aware of the fact that I had a 6 week old.  Who was my third child.  And that I would be going back to full time in a week.  So I needed small goals.

• I started a 30 day green smoothie challenge with simple green smoothies.  I am 12 days in (I started a day early).  I've missed 2 days entirely, but otherwise have made one each morning.  I enjoy how good I feel after chugging that whole food wonder.  
• In the morning before work I do a yoga sequence that takes 5 minutes-ish.  Sometimes I do a tummy video.  And I walk once a day during my breaks.  
• Also in the morning I try to use a new scripture journal that I purchased to study.  I break it down and work on "lessons" throughout the week.  I try not to beat myself up for missing a day (like today), I think I did 4 days this week.
• A friend of mine and I are clearing one small area of our home every week (or so...sometimes two).  I try to keep the area organized after it's done.  We've only done two, the top of the microwave and the desk in my kitchen.    One of my areas is a real beast to keep clear because it was one of our dump spots.  I plan to keep at this but not worry about how often we pick a spot, just that we clear one sometimes.

Looking ahead to 2014.

It seems the last couple years I don't know what we are looking foward to, and that trend continues.  Bill is still hunting for a job.  I am working full time with no end in sight.  Although...I'd really like to take a (me only) vacation to Georgia or to visit my mom in Phoenix.  This is very tempting, but the finances might not be there this year for that sort of thing. Miriam continues kindergarden.  Liam is learning to talk and parrots many words.  Nathan will just do everything a baby does the first year of life, which will be over before I know it!  He is going to be our last baby.  So, it's a little bittersweet to watch him move through some milestones.

Other possibilities?  Two nights ago I had a book idea.  I really like my book idea, but it pretty much depends on my amazing cousin being willing to co-author, since she is the expert on the subject matter.  What else?  I finished a painting I started working on in August (and quit working on when I started working).  I bought some canvas today because I have two more paining ideas.  Hopefully I'll finish them this year sometime.  And that is it!  I am hoping for a good year and a little bit of sleep.  Come on sleep.