Little Wookie is 1!

My little baby is one year old!  It's amazing! And went by so fast!

He's a big boy, 22.5 pounds, 31 inches tall.  I'm certain that is our largest baby to date, not sure if he's the tallest.

At 11 months, he started walking.  I feel like he caught on very quickly and now he's very good at getting around on his own. 

Also at 11 months, he started getting teeth, and got several all at once.  He got the bottom front two, then one on top front, then two on top (on either side of the top front teeth) and finally the other top front tooth.  Whew!  He's teething pretty well, which I am glad for, poor Liam always had such a tough time getting teeth.

He says a few words like "kitty" and "ball" - "ba ba ba"  He also says "ba ba" for bottle.  I've heard him say "my baba" before.  He also says "dada" and "mama" or "mom"

He loves to feed himself.  He doesn't want much to do with baby food because he really wants to feed himself.  He's tried some meats now.

He goes to bed with a bottle and a blanket.  Tonight, he brought his blanket up to daddy while holding his bottle at bedtime and looked at daddy like, "hey, it's bedtime"  He's usually ready to go to bed right at 7pm.  It's bedtime!

His favorite toys are balls (he'll drop almost anything else if he sees one) and maybe blocks.  He also loves bath time. 

He is a super good baby.  I feel so lucky that he is in our family and that he is mine! 

#stopgrowingup

Of course I don't mind them growing up.  It's a good thing that comes with its own set of changes and challenges.  But when they are little babies they are so happy and sweet! 

My baby started really crawling this week.  Apparently that means he thinks he should pull himself to standing as well.  I almost put #pushhimdown on the picture I posted for friends on facebook.

My almost three year old got his first bee sting (wasp) and is now terrified of bees.

My 6 1/2 year old cut her own hair.

I am so tired.  But I really enjoy all the new things they learn and do!

Last day off

Happy birthday to me, I turned another year older yesterday.  I am sitting in the doctors office waiting for a blood draw.  Wait...how old am I?

Was going to post some pictures but I don't know how to do it from my phone.  Okay! (Yay, I figured it out!)

I played with kids and said hello to friends and had dinner and cake at grandmas house.  The kids helped make a watermelon cake.  Fun stuff.

Anniversary dinner

Bill and I are out for our anniversary.  We can't think of anything to do together besides see a movie, wonder around barnes and Noble and go to dinner.   I've been sick for a month so the truth is I don't feel like doing anything.  I wish we could 1-figure out what is wrong and\or 2-make it go away.

We are here Friday night, and they are having a Frozen night.  Hearing all the little kids sing let it go makes me wish I had my little kids!  Still, what is wrong that I am out here by myself.  (Or...with bill) If part of my problem is stress isn't this what I should be doing.  But even when I can drag myself out of my haze enough to think I might be interested in something I don't pick it up and take it home because how long is it going to last, 1 week? 

Early Morning

I have the hardest time getting up in the morning.  I guess that is because of a little guy named Nathan who wakes up a couple time a night.  But I'm not staying up as long with him any more.  He is our biggest baby so far.  17.5 pounds at 7 months, he is a couple of months ahead of Liam and a Miriam.  He loves it when mommy comes home from work (for lunch and end of day) but I'm not sure how much of that is because it means he gets to sit in his high chair and eat!

We have had the missionaries over a couple of times in this last week.  They promised that no matter what our challenges were, our lives could be blessed because of doing missionary work and quite frankly, that got my attention.  I need whatever help I can get. 

Bill did not get offered the position with the Hanford partrol.  We have had a large outpouring of support and lots of people have helped sending job postings.  It was really disappointing and hard to know what to do next.  Because my salary is a little short of actually being able to take care of all of our bills (say nothing of setting aside for car repairs, house repairs, new tires, or a just the quarterly oil change) it makes me think about things too.  For now, we can still stay in this house and I guess that's something.

A quick stop

I attended the temple yesterday.  It was a short visit, but good.  A friend of mine helped me see that every little bit counts.

I didn't do a longer endowment session because I still get randomly nauseated.  I'm pretty sure it's a pill I am on.  I'd really like to just get rid of it.  I will soon.

Work is very quiet right now.  It's nice that I can sit and type away at something while listening to music or a conference talk. 

I'm working on not getting worked up and overwhelmed with all the things I need to do.  Most recently I thought that maybe I should meditate.  That maybe it would focus my mind.  But where do you fit that in? 

Life marches on

We were at a birthday party yesterday and Liam was waving at his shadow on the wall :)

I ran my first 5K in over two years.  It was Color Me Rad which was fun. 

We are waiting to hear back from the Hanford Patrol about a job for Bill.  We are hopeful for this.  But it's hard to know.  He ran out of unemployment last month.

I got called as a Relief Society teacher but no one has talked to me about when and what I'm teaching yet.

Miriam finished Kindergarden last week.  Hard to believe!

Pictures later!

Changes

I've been thinking about cutting back on social media.  Not getting rid of my account, but maybe deleting it off my phone and my nook.  Or only using it to participate in a coupe groups I am in.  I like facebook for keeping up with others.  But I've gotten into some ruts the last couple years where facebook (and the blogs I read and pinterest for that matter) make me feel envious and inferior.  I don't feel like this all the time.  Maybe some days I am more susceptible? 

I had to go back to work last year.  And frankly that was hard enough.  I'm tired of running into the articles about "how to parent" or even "why we chose to parent ________(this way)"  which, while they might be well meaning, and even somewhat nicely written just make me question myself. You know my post about stars and dots?  I really don't need to give them to myself.  So I've been thinking about how to help myself out.

So let me tell you the kind of mom i am right now.  I'm having a hard time with some of these changes, but the truth is...there is no end in sight to this situation.

I am the mom that never volunteers in my childs class.  I have no idea what her kindergarden class is like. 

I am the mom that forgets to bring snack on my assigned day.  Even with a reminder note.

I hate cooking.  Mostly I hate cooking because I hate cleaning up.  Our dishwasher is broken, which is contributing to my dislike of this chore.  If someone else came in and cleaned up each night, I might make stuff.  Maybe.

I am desperate to eat a little better and feel a little better and healthier.  But see the above disklike of cooking?

I will probably not ever get to stay home with my youngest son.  There really are no other words for what I think about this.

My kids don't go to library story time any more.

While my house got messy before,  It gets more messy now, more often.  I am too tired to deal with it as often as I might have before.

And  you know...the list goes on.  I guess I just needed to get a few of these off my chest and move on.  There are many things I am not.  There are also lots of things I am.  Things I still try and do.  And my kids still love me.  Hopefully they'll get something good from us.

Family Update

How I love reading back through my blog!  I can tell I went back to full time because I have rarely blogged since then.  There is so much to say most of the time.

Miriam learned the macarena in kindergarten.  Actually what she learned was hey! Months of the year! They actually dance the macarena (minus the butt shaking) while singing each month.  Instead of hey! Macarena they sing hey! Months of the year!  I loved it.

Right now we are getting ready for valentines day.  She wants to make everyone a valentine like Pete the Cat, Valentines Day is cool.  She draws the hearts on her own and writes in the names.  She is beginning to read several words on her own and is more interested in what things say.

She is learning and changing into a big girl.  I know we only have a few years left before hanging out with mom and/or dad is no longer what she will want to do.  How can you possibly prepare for that?

Liam is an amazing two year old.  He finally hit some stages like saying no all the time, yelling no, hitting and spitting.  In all honesty he probably learned most of that from the way big sister treats him when she is mad at him.  Harder to stop the behavior for the two year old.

He is amazing though.  When he isn't all worked up and is treated nicely he is kind, he shares, and he listens.  He says tons of words.  I can't even keep up.  Sunday he saw a heart and told me "valentine".   He loves to play. Much to her chagrin, Liam wants to do everything Miriam does.  He will follow her exactly as long as she will stand it.  And maybe a little longer.

Nathan is almost three months old.  He is starting to round out and be awake more.  He smiles at people with big smiles.  He often plays with his tongue like he is trying to figure out what it is for.   He talks to me a little bit.   I've seen him staring at his hands recently trying to figure them out.

We were going to have his baby blessing last weekend, but a bunch of snow in the tri cities put that off.  

Bill is back to fighting.  He was asked to be in the queens guard so he has been trying to figure out ways to be at many events.  He has some nice armor he worked really hard on.  He also has a gaming group going on omce a month in the Tri Cities.

And that is our update. Yay family!

Stars and Dots

A couple days ago I was perusing Facebook during one of my couple of times a day checks (wonder what I was avoiding?).

I ran across a link to an article along the lines of "These 25 parents are doing something right."  This wasn't the first time I ran across something like this, everyone has an opinion about parenting after all.  Sometimes I even enjoy these, they have often made me chuckle.  But for some reason today was different.  I was about two or three pictures down (yes, this one there was photographic evidence of these peoples so called awesomeness) and I decided to close my browser window.  Because a few pictures down I thought to myself, "Maybe I don't think these ideas are necessarily doing it right."  I decided I don't need to feel like I'm doing it "wrong" for not doing these things. 

Maybe I'm the only one who is so thin skinned that I let stuff like that make me feel inferior at times, but i doubt it.

It reminded me of my favorite book by Max Lucado, a children's book called, You Are Special.  In the story these little wooden people called Wemmicks live out their lives running around giving each other either gold stars or dots, for doing things well or failing, respectively.  They spend their entire lives passing judgement on each other, based on their ideas of awesome-ness.

And in that moment I felt like Facebook and these articles were just a series of Wemmicks giving others gold stars or dots. 

The stickers only stick if you let them.

One Wemmick in the story, covered in dots, meets a Wemmick who the stickers do not stick on.  He wants to know why and she sends him to the woodcarver, Eli.  One of the things Eli tells this Wemmick is that the stickers only stick if you let them.  

We are taking these judgements in.  We are letting the opinion of the world determine our self worth.  How many older ladies at church have I heard say, "I never let my children play around in the foyer during a service."  I've read entire articles about how some parent in some other place deals with "disruptive" behavior in church.  And the day I sat in a classroom and let my children run and play for the entire service, pregnant and exhausted,  I let that dot stick on me for not doing it "right."

How much different would it have been if we said to the flustered mom, when her children are throwing a tantrum or running amok,  "Parenting sure is tough sometimes, isn't it?" 

I want to learn not to let the stickers stick.

I don't want to give out stickers either.

For the last couple of days, I've been trying to figure out what is the difference between giving a gold star and spreading the love of Eli.  After all, isn't it wonderful to receive affirmation from someone you admire?  Hasn't the comment of my father,  "You are doing a good job with your kids" before he left for home been a breath of fresh air that has carried me through many more days?  Is it just a gold star I am letting stick?  I'd like to think not.

I think gold stars and dots are the comments that lift you above or below someone else.  Pass judgement where it's not your place.  Spreading the love of the woodcarver is letting someone know they are special, just because, and doing it even when you don't agree with how they do something. 

I want to spread the love of the woodcarver. 

Hello, 2014

Life gets pretty busy doesn't it?  I meant to write my "looking foward" post within a few days of my 2013 recap, but here I am, January 11th just getting started.

After I wrapped up 2013 I had a ton of things that ideally I would have liked to put on the resolution calendar.

• I'd like to eat healthier, and lose some baby weight
• Get back into exercise (is this the year I finally suck it up and start learning about group fitness instruction?)
• Declutter and Organization.  I enjoy the process of doing this quite a bit.  What I don't like is not being able to sit down for big chunks of time to work on it. Or how fast all of my work is undone/the lack of respect my family seems to have for what I am trying to do :P
• Bible study!  I've learned some great things about keeping a scripture journal in the last two years, I'd love to have a regular habit.

All the standard ones right?  But I was also keenly aware of the fact that I had a 6 week old.  Who was my third child.  And that I would be going back to full time in a week.  So I needed small goals.

• I started a 30 day green smoothie challenge with simple green smoothies.  I am 12 days in (I started a day early).  I've missed 2 days entirely, but otherwise have made one each morning.  I enjoy how good I feel after chugging that whole food wonder.  
• In the morning before work I do a yoga sequence that takes 5 minutes-ish.  Sometimes I do a tummy video.  And I walk once a day during my breaks.  
• Also in the morning I try to use a new scripture journal that I purchased to study.  I break it down and work on "lessons" throughout the week.  I try not to beat myself up for missing a day (like today), I think I did 4 days this week.
• A friend of mine and I are clearing one small area of our home every week (or so...sometimes two).  I try to keep the area organized after it's done.  We've only done two, the top of the microwave and the desk in my kitchen.    One of my areas is a real beast to keep clear because it was one of our dump spots.  I plan to keep at this but not worry about how often we pick a spot, just that we clear one sometimes.

Looking ahead to 2014.

It seems the last couple years I don't know what we are looking foward to, and that trend continues.  Bill is still hunting for a job.  I am working full time with no end in sight.  Although...I'd really like to take a (me only) vacation to Georgia or to visit my mom in Phoenix.  This is very tempting, but the finances might not be there this year for that sort of thing. Miriam continues kindergarden.  Liam is learning to talk and parrots many words.  Nathan will just do everything a baby does the first year of life, which will be over before I know it!  He is going to be our last baby.  So, it's a little bittersweet to watch him move through some milestones.

Other possibilities?  Two nights ago I had a book idea.  I really like my book idea, but it pretty much depends on my amazing cousin being willing to co-author, since she is the expert on the subject matter.  What else?  I finished a painting I started working on in August (and quit working on when I started working).  I bought some canvas today because I have two more paining ideas.  Hopefully I'll finish them this year sometime.  And that is it!  I am hoping for a good year and a little bit of sleep.  Come on sleep.