I've been thinking about cutting back on social media. Not getting rid of my account, but maybe deleting it off my phone and my nook. Or only using it to participate in a coupe groups I am in. I like facebook for keeping up with others. But I've gotten into some ruts the last couple years where facebook (and the blogs I read and pinterest for that matter) make me feel envious and inferior. I don't feel like this all the time. Maybe some days I am more susceptible?
I had to go back to work last year. And frankly that was hard enough. I'm tired of running into the articles about "how to parent" or even "why we chose to parent ________(this way)" which, while they might be well meaning, and even somewhat nicely written just make me question myself. You know my post about stars and dots? I really don't need to give them to myself. So I've been thinking about how to help myself out.
So let me tell you the kind of mom i am right now. I'm having a hard time with some of these changes, but the truth is...there is no end in sight to this situation.
I am the mom that never volunteers in my childs class. I have no idea what her kindergarden class is like.
I am the mom that forgets to bring snack on my assigned day. Even with a reminder note.
I hate cooking. Mostly I hate cooking because I hate cleaning up. Our dishwasher is broken, which is contributing to my dislike of this chore. If someone else came in and cleaned up each night, I might make stuff. Maybe.
I am desperate to eat a little better and feel a little better and healthier. But see the above disklike of cooking?
I will probably not ever get to stay home with my youngest son. There really are no other words for what I think about this.
My kids don't go to library story time any more.
While my house got messy before, It gets more messy now, more often. I am too tired to deal with it as often as I might have before.
And you know...the list goes on. I guess I just needed to get a few of these off my chest and move on. There are many things I am not. There are also lots of things I am. Things I still try and do. And my kids still love me. Hopefully they'll get something good from us.
