I am strong

I am strong...

I follow a site called birth without fear on facebook and they have a lot of posts where women talk about how.they were strong through their circumstances of pregnancy and birth. I decided to write mine.

This is baby #3 for me.  That alone might have been reason enough to say I am strong, that I decided to have a third.

• I am strong because we had our son even during an economic downturn of our life.
• I am strong because on top of morning sickness, my one year old and I had stomach bugs every 4 to 8 weeks during this pregnancy
• I am strong because my nausea did not go away, but I took care of my two other children and, eventually, my job.
• I am strong because at 5 months pregnant I took a full time job to help support my family financially
• I am strong because I found out I had gestational diabetes and was able to manage it by diet alone.
• I am strong because my epidural did not work and I somehow found the strength (and support...thanks honey!) To give birth to our son.
• I am strong because when he was three days old I took my son and two other children 2 hours away to see grandma who was in the final stages of osteosarcoma
• I am strong because I went back to work part time after 8 days, because my job which is still probationary would not cover benefits under FMLA if I took maternity leave.
• I am strong because in another week I will go back full time.

I am so very lucky for my three children who inspire me and challenge me every day!

See ya 2013

This is a hard year to look back on and find many highlights, but I'm sure as I do it a few more will come to mind!

• Bill started a job in Toxicology in early January.  It wasn't the best job ever (no benefits, no time off) but it was a job and it kept us floating for most of this year.  It was technically temporary and they let all their temps go in October, so he is back to the job search.  It's not easy for him.  
• Feburary my Grandparents help pay for me to fly to my other Grandparents in Idaho after my Grandfather is put in the hospital after a heart attack.  Amazing weekend being with my mom and her family.  Plenty of drama, but very glad I went, as it was my last visit. 
• March, on the way home from our neices birthday party, I'm feeling nauseated which prompts me to take a pregnancy test in which we discover we are expecting number 3!
• I decide to enlist a friend and actually start trying to sell some crochet stuff.  It was really fun to contemplate and start although hard to generate business.  My friend is the one who has some real talent for crochet and runs this business on her own now (for reasons that will make sense shortly).   You can find her on Facebook.  Sometimes things you do end up not being for you.  Wanting to start this was one of those things in my life.
• Bill works away on his new armor made with metal scales.  It's really cool!  
• June, Memaw passed away.  She is missed by many. (my step moms mother)
• After returning from a visit to Bills grandmothers (we went with his parents, his mom is such a trooper traveling) I get called for an interview at Eastern.  I had applied for my former bosses job (she retired) and I interviewed for it on our anniversary.  I started that job mid August and am still plugging away at it.
• Speaking of, we celebrate our 10th anniversary!  
• Miriam starts kindergarden and transitions beautifully.  She loves to go to school.
• I have gestational diabetes.  It seems to explain, at least in part, why I often feel sick even later in pregnancy.  It's managed fine by diet.  
• October, my Grandpa passes away.  
• November we meet our little guy, Nathan!  He is super sweet.
•  I start back to work part time after 8 days.  Which is a long story that deserves more than a bullet point.
• We take Nathan to meet his Grandmother (Bills mom) when he is 3 days old.  Grandma had taken a turn for the worst.  She passed away about a week later, on Thanksgiving.
• A nice Christmas in the Tri Cities.  All Bills siblings were there and we had a great Christmas Eve at his sisters house.  My kids would spend every waking minute with their cousins if they could.

I am ready to leave this year behind.  There are a hundred things I could write in my post for 2014 but I am trying to come to grips that I am a working parent with a new baby.  2014 will probably be a lot of lost sleep.  I don't think that will stop me from writing a looking forward post...stay tuned.

My Day Old Child

We have had a lot going on.  Plus a new baby.  And two other kids.  I am tired.  So anyway, times like this it is hard to keep up with blogging.  But I wanted to share this poem!

My day old child lay in my arms,
With my lips against his ear.
I whispered strongly, "How I wish--
I wish that you could hear,

"I've a hundred wonderful things to say,
(a tiny cough and a nod),
hurry, hurry, hurry and grow
So I can tell you about God."

My day-old baby's mouth was still
And my words only tickled his ear,
But a kind of light passed through his eyes,
And I saw this thought appear:

"How I wish I had a voice and words,
I've a hundred things to say.
Before I forget, I'd tell you of God --
I left Him yesterday."
--Carol Lynn Pearson

Birth of Nathan, Recovery time

After I got home, I wished I had stayed an extra night in the hospital.  With Liam two days and nights was two long, but this time I was going home to two children and facing only a handful of days off of work.

That isn't to say our time in the hospital was all a breeze, because within a few hours of his birth we were both starting to have some small problems. 

I'm thinking it was about 4 good hours.  We felt pretty good, we'd moved to our recovery room (ringing the bells along the way), we were getting some snuggle time and had sent some pictures to our family.

One of the nurses heard Nathan breathing when she came in and said he sounded a little grunty.  They talked to us about having the NICU observe him a bit.  Also, they got a little concerned about how much I was bleeding so the doctor did an ultrasound to make sure there was no placenta left behind in my uterus (which there didn't seem to be, thank goodness) and she gave me some pills to make me cramp a bit more.  I wasn't happy about it, but they seemed to work and at least they were letting me have pain pills.   After birth cramps are painful.  Its too bad it can't be like my first birth!  I don't remember cramps at all!

I think it was around 8 that the NICU nurses came down to pick up Nathan.  They talked to us about the four hour observation window, after which they would decide if he should be admitted.  Toward the end of our visit with them I was starting to feel cold and shake.  Poor Bill didn't know who to stay with, but I told him to go upstairs.  While he went up to the NICU my nurses brought me a warm hospital gown and some warmed up blankets.  They were wonderful, but my whole body still could not get warm and I was shaking bad enough to shake the whole bed.

I tried to calm down, but it was hard.  I was frustrated about the cramping pills, and frustrated with my body freaking out.  As if I hadn't been through enough that day (on somewhere between 2-4 hours of sleep to boot)  I thought to myself.  Bill came back and sat with me until I was finally falling asleep and not really shaking anymore.  My room was warm, the pills I had taken (plus all the blankets) had given me a slight temperature.  Eventually I got really warm and started to sweat and I slowly removed some of my blankets.  I was afraid the chills would come back, but they didn't.

Someone from the NICU came down and told me that at the end of the 4 hour observation Nathan stopped grunting.  But it was at the very end, so they were a little unsure about sending him back quite yet.  We decided he would stay up there overnight, and I think they did some x-rays of his chest.  We relaxed and settled down to get some sleep - finally!  I meant to go up to the NICU in the early morning hours but I never did.  I wasn't ready to nurse him yet, afterbirth pains and all that.  And I was very tired.  I still feel bad for not going up, but they took care of him and it turned out all right in the end.  Around breakfast time they brought Nathan back to my room.  Everything looked pretty good.

I actually got to take a shower.  My grandparents brought Miriam and Liam to visit in the afternoon.  Then, by about 5pm we were on our way home with our little guy.  Yes, I wished I had an extra night in the hospital.  But being able to go home meant that we were all healthy, which was priceless.