Comparisons

So I came up with a new prayer today. A new mantra for myself. 

 Help me stop comparing.  

That is it.  I was thinking about my life and judgement and how to make decisions like how many children to have.  And I was thinking about God and love and decided I'd imagined conversations with Him all wrong. Here is me all this time imagining myself getting chastened or something.  " you really should have had more children.". But I was thinking about Christ and mercy and compassion and grace and realized it might be more like this.  " I know it was hard.  I know that you struggled with feelings of anger and depression.  I know you hate puke.  And I know you loved the children you had.  I'm glad you did your best."

So I got to thinking about making decisions and comparison.  Comparison isn't a way to make a decision.  Because no ones past and present, thoughts and temperament line up the exact way mine do.  The way and things I've been taught and the way I deal with information. I have similarities to others.  But the whole is different because I am unique.  

Even when it comes to my children. It's hard not to compare, just because as a mom I am learning,  but they are different! So it's easy to marvel and think "sheesh my daughter didn't do it that way! What do I do about this? " And maybe that isn't harmful ( as long as it's said in my own head ).  

But there is no place for comparison in my life,  the kind that fosters judgement.  If I can have less of it I hope to heal a little rift in my soul.  Bring me closer to God because I will be more like him.