I am so tired. But here it goes. I am grateful for the ability to procreate. Sure, why not?
My first pregnancy was pretty good. My second pregnancy I did not enjoy nearly as much. I was sicker, more emotional, more depressed, my hips hurt more etc. Today I look at my sweet children and I feel very lucky. I am thankful to have them in my home.
I am now going to bed so I can drag myself out of bed when my daughter starts bugging me at 6am. I am going to play horses with her I think.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Gratitude
Several months ago, while my husband was on a deployment, two of my friends (somehow we are all in the south) drove up to Atlanta for a girls weekend. It was a wonderful time. I haven't done something like that for a long time. I've been itching to get together with them again for another girls weekend - it was amazing!
While they were up here I stayed in their hotel room and the three of us stayed up WAY TO LATE and had the best conversations - some of which were the kind only late nights can bring on. I learned something from Tierney that weekend that has stuck with me this year. She was/is possibly one of the most positive and spiritual people I have ever met. She taught me a little bit about making faith part of your everyday life, and therefore strengthening it (your faith) each day. I learned this from her just from her example, and from some of the things she told us that night.
I am telling you this because it will be no surprise then that as I was browsing Pinterest (yes, I am slightly sucked in at the moment) I ran across a pin on her page about a Gratitude journal. I have tried to keep a gratitude journal in the past with little success. I will get started, but I have never kept it going. The last couple of days gratitude is glaring me in the face. The December Ensign presidency message is about gratitude, we did a short gratitude exercise in Relief Society on Sunday (which was actually the youth activity that went with the message in the Ensign), and I'd been feeling the personal prompting a few times to think of things I was grateful for - either about my children or my husband or in general - in those moments I was exhausted and maybe frustrated. But here it is again today.
I read this article called O Remember, Remember. I remember reading this article in the past, but I think the time has come to actually act on it. I am not good at keeping a journal or blogging every day. But I think I will try to do one or the other through the rest of this month.
Today I was extremely thankful we made the effort to have a family home evening. It was just a Living Scriptures video about the Tree of Life but it was a good experience to view it on the screen. Then we did one of the learning activities with our daughter. As we talked to her about the video, and asked her some of the questions I was amazed at what she was able to learn. Some things were sort of funny like the "magic fruit" and some things were amazing like when she told us they needed to go to the tree to get to Jesus which wasn't something we had told her.
I am grateful for moments like that that put the rest of my day into perspective!
While they were up here I stayed in their hotel room and the three of us stayed up WAY TO LATE and had the best conversations - some of which were the kind only late nights can bring on. I learned something from Tierney that weekend that has stuck with me this year. She was/is possibly one of the most positive and spiritual people I have ever met. She taught me a little bit about making faith part of your everyday life, and therefore strengthening it (your faith) each day. I learned this from her just from her example, and from some of the things she told us that night.
I am telling you this because it will be no surprise then that as I was browsing Pinterest (yes, I am slightly sucked in at the moment) I ran across a pin on her page about a Gratitude journal. I have tried to keep a gratitude journal in the past with little success. I will get started, but I have never kept it going. The last couple of days gratitude is glaring me in the face. The December Ensign presidency message is about gratitude, we did a short gratitude exercise in Relief Society on Sunday (which was actually the youth activity that went with the message in the Ensign), and I'd been feeling the personal prompting a few times to think of things I was grateful for - either about my children or my husband or in general - in those moments I was exhausted and maybe frustrated. But here it is again today.
I read this article called O Remember, Remember. I remember reading this article in the past, but I think the time has come to actually act on it. I am not good at keeping a journal or blogging every day. But I think I will try to do one or the other through the rest of this month.
Today I was extremely thankful we made the effort to have a family home evening. It was just a Living Scriptures video about the Tree of Life but it was a good experience to view it on the screen. Then we did one of the learning activities with our daughter. As we talked to her about the video, and asked her some of the questions I was amazed at what she was able to learn. Some things were sort of funny like the "magic fruit" and some things were amazing like when she told us they needed to go to the tree to get to Jesus which wasn't something we had told her.
I am grateful for moments like that that put the rest of my day into perspective!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Weight Loss Wednesday update
Weight loss: not going as initially expected. You can see my weekly updates on Weight Loss Wednesday.
The short of the long though is that I went down and then up and then up again. Nothing outrageous and nothing unexpected. Just a bummer.
Since then, we have gotten rid of our colds, I've made more of an attempt to exercise and I've started dealing with a little problem called bloating! This week, I had actually lost 1.6 pounds - which was mostly a relief!
The truth is I am a little worried about some other issues right now (breastfeeding) and that makes me less inclined toward weight loss. So I'm just going to try and keep healthy and keep exercising and keep trying!! Catch up with me again soon on Wednesday!
The short of the long though is that I went down and then up and then up again. Nothing outrageous and nothing unexpected. Just a bummer.
Since then, we have gotten rid of our colds, I've made more of an attempt to exercise and I've started dealing with a little problem called bloating! This week, I had actually lost 1.6 pounds - which was mostly a relief!
The truth is I am a little worried about some other issues right now (breastfeeding) and that makes me less inclined toward weight loss. So I'm just going to try and keep healthy and keep exercising and keep trying!! Catch up with me again soon on Wednesday!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Life is Work
Well. Some days are better than others.
Last night I had to go to the store at 8pm to fill up a tire (that went nearly flat 30 minutes later again) and pick up some food.
Let me back track and say, the day wasn't so bad. Its just an adjustment having two children and dinner to cook and housework. I keep trying to remind myself that my job here on the earth isn't housework (ok - SORT OF. Because part of keeping my family running is keeping us semi organized. Which includes constant dishes and laundry). My relationship with my husband and bringing up our two children, that is my current purpose on the earth.
I was thinking this as I went shopping at 8pm instead of sitting on my butt watching a movie.
My great-grandmother once told me that life was work. I had told her Bill worked a LOT in Afganistan and you could almost hear her shrug as she said "Life is work." And I think about how hard she and my great-grandfather worked in their day.
Over and over I thought "It's okay. This is your purpose."
As I left the store, I couldn't help it. I shook my head and thought to myself, "Yeah. You just keep telling yourself that."
That sarcastic person my friends is Molly. She doesn't actually get out too much.
Today is hard for any other number or reasons, most of which involves some guilt about not 1)keeping Miriam on schedule. 2)not even attempting to do those dishes or 3) any number of other things I am not accomplishing right now. Like helping Miriam on her computer game. (Wait! More guilt! Why is she on the computer AGAIN?)
I do know it will get better (the three of us not being sick might help too). So I'm just going to get back to my "purpose" - they need to eat lunch before we fix the leaky tire.
Last night I had to go to the store at 8pm to fill up a tire (that went nearly flat 30 minutes later again) and pick up some food.
Let me back track and say, the day wasn't so bad. Its just an adjustment having two children and dinner to cook and housework. I keep trying to remind myself that my job here on the earth isn't housework (ok - SORT OF. Because part of keeping my family running is keeping us semi organized. Which includes constant dishes and laundry). My relationship with my husband and bringing up our two children, that is my current purpose on the earth.
I was thinking this as I went shopping at 8pm instead of sitting on my butt watching a movie.
My great-grandmother once told me that life was work. I had told her Bill worked a LOT in Afganistan and you could almost hear her shrug as she said "Life is work." And I think about how hard she and my great-grandfather worked in their day.
Over and over I thought "It's okay. This is your purpose."
As I left the store, I couldn't help it. I shook my head and thought to myself, "Yeah. You just keep telling yourself that."
That sarcastic person my friends is Molly. She doesn't actually get out too much.
Today is hard for any other number or reasons, most of which involves some guilt about not 1)keeping Miriam on schedule. 2)not even attempting to do those dishes or 3) any number of other things I am not accomplishing right now. Like helping Miriam on her computer game. (Wait! More guilt! Why is she on the computer AGAIN?)
I do know it will get better (the three of us not being sick might help too). So I'm just going to get back to my "purpose" - they need to eat lunch before we fix the leaky tire.
Friday, November 11, 2011
One month highlights
Liam is already 6 weeks old, still growing and changing all the time! But I'll try to remember what he has been like for month one!
Kid loves to sleep! He really does seem to sleep a lot. I try to give him 3 wakeful periods a day, that's the closest I am coming to a routine.
By the end of the month he generally sleeps one 5 hour stretch (starting at about 8, so it's not super helpful to me) and 3 hour stretches after that. He doesn't usually cry, just grunts until I wake up and feed him. Unless I'm being slow. Then he might get worked up.
At 2 weeks old he begins holding up his head more often. He's getting pretty strong now.
He smiles a lot in his sleep. And it isn't GAS - those look different! But on the 26th of October, he actually gave me an eyes open smile. What a cutie pants.
Is a pretty easy going baby most of the time. We're pretty lucky.
Special memory from month one:
We're tired. Bill is trying to get Liam to take a binky. He's got it and is in his bed at the end of our bed. We hear him doing some grunting and snorting. Bill says, "No grunt snort. Just nuk nuk." And lays down. It cracked me up! Had to put that up.
Special challenge for month two:
Even though I am a little less frustrated by the sleep situation then I remember being with Miriam, I'd still like him to sleep well. I picked up the Sleep Lady's book again for a while, but honestly, I read for a while and start feeling like a failure because I 1) can't find time to continue reading the book and therefore/also 2) can't/don't/have no idea how to implement their ideas. SO - any thoughts for getting some regular sleep. Last night he slept from 11 to 5:50. I guess this technically = sleeping through the night. Good job Liam! Except - I've been here before - this is what you call a FLUKE. :) But maybe I can get him to only get up once a night. I can maybe live with this. Thoughts??
Kid loves to sleep! He really does seem to sleep a lot. I try to give him 3 wakeful periods a day, that's the closest I am coming to a routine.
By the end of the month he generally sleeps one 5 hour stretch (starting at about 8, so it's not super helpful to me) and 3 hour stretches after that. He doesn't usually cry, just grunts until I wake up and feed him. Unless I'm being slow. Then he might get worked up.
At 2 weeks old he begins holding up his head more often. He's getting pretty strong now.
He smiles a lot in his sleep. And it isn't GAS - those look different! But on the 26th of October, he actually gave me an eyes open smile. What a cutie pants.
Is a pretty easy going baby most of the time. We're pretty lucky.
Special memory from month one:
We're tired. Bill is trying to get Liam to take a binky. He's got it and is in his bed at the end of our bed. We hear him doing some grunting and snorting. Bill says, "No grunt snort. Just nuk nuk." And lays down. It cracked me up! Had to put that up.
Special challenge for month two:
Even though I am a little less frustrated by the sleep situation then I remember being with Miriam, I'd still like him to sleep well. I picked up the Sleep Lady's book again for a while, but honestly, I read for a while and start feeling like a failure because I 1) can't find time to continue reading the book and therefore/also 2) can't/don't/have no idea how to implement their ideas. SO - any thoughts for getting some regular sleep. Last night he slept from 11 to 5:50. I guess this technically = sleeping through the night. Good job Liam! Except - I've been here before - this is what you call a FLUKE. :) But maybe I can get him to only get up once a night. I can maybe live with this. Thoughts??
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Losing it! Round 3
I've been having some fun today checking out US News top diets. You can get some basic information and ratings and many diets - DASH, Mediterranean, Vegetariamism, Paleo, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. Then they are ranked in various categories - Best Overall, Best for Healthy Eating, Best Weight Loss etc. It's interesting reading. At the bottom of each synopsis is a little poll for each diet. It says "Did this diet work for you?" and you can click yes or no.
If you've been around here for a while you know that I work for Weight Watchers, which I began about a year after losing 30 pounds with them in 2004. While I have a lot of intellectual interest in other diets, Weight Watchers is what I do. It works when you own it, you know? Probably most diets are this way, when you DO THEM you will see some results. This was just the most livable for me. I can do this every day of my life. Don't get me wrong, there are days I fall off the wagon. Weight Watchers is really made for you to get right back on the wagon. (In fact WW is made for you to write down everything that happened to you to make you fall off the wagon, look at it and say "oh that was awful" and shudder about your weight gain but then LEARN from it and get back in there.)
Yes, Weight Watchers worked for me. In fact it worked 2 times (in college and after baby #1). I fully expect it to work after baby #2. And I'll do it again if there is a baby #3.
Weight loss after baby #1 was hard. It took me 2 years to get where I really wanted to be. It's not like I had 100 pounds to lose. I had about 15 pounds to lose. I lost my motivation for those last 5 pounds time and time again. Until I kicked it out just in time to find out I was pregnant :) What I really want this time is NOT to take 2 years.
So I'm endevoring to lose again. I'll be talking about it here sometimes, but feel free to keep up with me on Peach State Moms where I just started Weight Loss Wednesday. We'll see how it goes! And lets hope I actually get cleared for weight loss tomorrow. And that I keep my milk supply up! Wish me luck!
If you've been around here for a while you know that I work for Weight Watchers, which I began about a year after losing 30 pounds with them in 2004. While I have a lot of intellectual interest in other diets, Weight Watchers is what I do. It works when you own it, you know? Probably most diets are this way, when you DO THEM you will see some results. This was just the most livable for me. I can do this every day of my life. Don't get me wrong, there are days I fall off the wagon. Weight Watchers is really made for you to get right back on the wagon. (In fact WW is made for you to write down everything that happened to you to make you fall off the wagon, look at it and say "oh that was awful" and shudder about your weight gain but then LEARN from it and get back in there.)
Yes, Weight Watchers worked for me. In fact it worked 2 times (in college and after baby #1). I fully expect it to work after baby #2. And I'll do it again if there is a baby #3.
Weight loss after baby #1 was hard. It took me 2 years to get where I really wanted to be. It's not like I had 100 pounds to lose. I had about 15 pounds to lose. I lost my motivation for those last 5 pounds time and time again. Until I kicked it out just in time to find out I was pregnant :) What I really want this time is NOT to take 2 years.
So I'm endevoring to lose again. I'll be talking about it here sometimes, but feel free to keep up with me on Peach State Moms where I just started Weight Loss Wednesday. We'll see how it goes! And lets hope I actually get cleared for weight loss tomorrow. And that I keep my milk supply up! Wish me luck!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Recovery ain't what it used to be
Recovering from pregnancy #2 was (is!) much different than pregnancy #1. I'd heard this before, but didn't think about it (too focused on labor I guess) until it was happening!
It began when the hospital staff wheeled me to the postpartum room with my new baby. I've still got an IV in and, even better, I am still hooked up to a bag of Oxytocin. Why am I still hooked up to this stuff?? This is the made me go into labor stuff, and I don't want another bag of it in my system thank you very much! Apparently I was bleeding a little more than they liked so they wanted to make sure my uterus was doing it's job and cramping and shrinking. Thanks guys. I asked Bill if I ever even mentioned having cramps after giving birth to Miriam and he said he didn't remember me mentioning it. That would be because I don't remember having them! But I was just checking. What they say is true, afterbirth cramps after a second birth hurt. I watched that bag of Oxytocin and waited to be unhooked. Turns out, it didn't matter much, the cramps I had after it was gone were just as uncomfortable. Uncomfortable as in - ouch this feels like a mildly intense contraction. I have to do my breathing through this! And it put a little damper on breastfeeding cause I knew every time baby nursed it would bring them on. So glad when those went away.
This time, I totally get why there is this weeks long period between birth and your postpartum checkup. After I got home, I still couldn't sleep on my back without bringing on pain in my abdomen for a couple weeks (sleeping on my back is what I've been waiting for dang it!). I still have random pains in my hips and the ligaments that supported that uterus during pregnancy. I've even had some random shooting sciatic pains - which I didn't even have during pregnancy!?
I had a follow up call from a nurse with our insurance company and we're both pretty sure some of the "problem" is the fact I am running around after a 3 year old this time. No chillin' on the couch watching shows, napping and eating all day. (I don't remember much about Miriam's first month besides getting up at night a lot, so I'm making that up) I am feeling (MOST of the time) tons better emotionally since he arrived then during pregnancy. So even though it's not easy, I'm less depressed. It feels so good for Liam to be HERE and working on establishing our new normal.
That said, I'd like to find that normal soon. :) I gotta add exercise to it. And holidays. I'm ready to put recovery behind us.
It began when the hospital staff wheeled me to the postpartum room with my new baby. I've still got an IV in and, even better, I am still hooked up to a bag of Oxytocin. Why am I still hooked up to this stuff?? This is the made me go into labor stuff, and I don't want another bag of it in my system thank you very much! Apparently I was bleeding a little more than they liked so they wanted to make sure my uterus was doing it's job and cramping and shrinking. Thanks guys. I asked Bill if I ever even mentioned having cramps after giving birth to Miriam and he said he didn't remember me mentioning it. That would be because I don't remember having them! But I was just checking. What they say is true, afterbirth cramps after a second birth hurt. I watched that bag of Oxytocin and waited to be unhooked. Turns out, it didn't matter much, the cramps I had after it was gone were just as uncomfortable. Uncomfortable as in - ouch this feels like a mildly intense contraction. I have to do my breathing through this! And it put a little damper on breastfeeding cause I knew every time baby nursed it would bring them on. So glad when those went away.
This time, I totally get why there is this weeks long period between birth and your postpartum checkup. After I got home, I still couldn't sleep on my back without bringing on pain in my abdomen for a couple weeks (sleeping on my back is what I've been waiting for dang it!). I still have random pains in my hips and the ligaments that supported that uterus during pregnancy. I've even had some random shooting sciatic pains - which I didn't even have during pregnancy!?
I had a follow up call from a nurse with our insurance company and we're both pretty sure some of the "problem" is the fact I am running around after a 3 year old this time. No chillin' on the couch watching shows, napping and eating all day. (I don't remember much about Miriam's first month besides getting up at night a lot, so I'm making that up) I am feeling (MOST of the time) tons better emotionally since he arrived then during pregnancy. So even though it's not easy, I'm less depressed. It feels so good for Liam to be HERE and working on establishing our new normal.
That said, I'd like to find that normal soon. :) I gotta add exercise to it. And holidays. I'm ready to put recovery behind us.
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